“Envy is ignorance…”

As a kid I got picked on a lot.  Too skinny, too white, too proper, too siddidy, etc.  All that talking got to me, and had me feeling like everything those haters were saying was true.  They had my confidence low, and feeling intimidated to be myself. Everything I did, I had all eyes on me.  And of course they always had something to say.  Just like that telephone game, by the time word got around it is was nothing close to what really happened.  Had my reputation all fucked up...and being that I had to go to school with these fools, I had to deal with it and fight with these chicks on a regular basis.  But soon enough I realized that these hoes were just jealous.  They spent their time talking about me so they could get the spotlight off of their raggedy asses!  Damn it…I’m smart, I’m a bombshell, and I’m going places (no doubt about it).  I don’t need anybody to reassure me of that.  Matter fact, my mirror reassures me.

I never really understood haters.  I never really been one to talk bad about people, or lie on people, or even really be jealous of people.  When I see another female looking good and doing her thang, I don’t feel hatred in my heart.  I don’t be like, “Fuck that hoe, she think she all that.  She probably fucked that nigga to get that shit!”  Naw…hell naw!  That ain’t me.  I admire people who are doing good.  That makes me wanna go out and do my thing even harder.  I can’t hate on anybody or talk too bad about anybody, cuz I don’t know anybody’s personal situation.  If a chick is looking raggedy…what does that have to do with me??  She probably fell on hard times.  Maybe she has bigger goals than having the latest Jordans.  Maybe she’s saving up for a down payment on a condo.  Who knows?  And If she’s fly…maybe she has a good job.  Maybe she has a sugar daddy.  Maybe she’s two weeks from getting evicted.  Maybe her credit cards are maxed out.  So how can I be jealous??

So the moral of the story is…DO YOU!!   And do it as best as YOU can.  That’s all you can do.  Never let anybody steal your shine. Cuz while haters are steady watching somebody else, they’re missing out on all the fun they could be having.  While they’re busy assassinating somebody’s character, they could be trying to get to know them, and finding out how down to earth and fun that person is to be around.  And when the haters start to get to you, go look in the mirror and remind yourself how fly you really are.  Those haters are jealous, and they get off on trying to drag you down to their level. 

A candid letter to my daughters. Pt. 1

Self Esteem:

I don’t want to give you the wrong idea when I say this but,

YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD.

Your life is all about you.

You (and only you) will have to live with every single decision you make in this world.

So it doesn’t make sense to do anything that isn’t going to benefit you.

What’s good for one person might not be good for you.

So the only thing you can do is stay true to yourself.

Get a hobby, work towards goals, have fun.

You know what’s best for you.

FORGET THE NAY SAYERS.

Leave them in the dust.

As long as they don’t disrespect you or put their hands on you, don’t pay them any mind.

If you weren’t doing the right things they wouldn’t be worried about you at all.

Jealous people will always try to tear you down to bring you to their level.

They hate that you have what you have, look the way you look, and do the things you do.

So they talk about you and try to make you feel crummy, because then you will feel just like them.

The only time you should change yourself is if YOU don’t like something about YOU.

Never let anybody convince you that you are anything less than what you are: smart, beautiful, brave, and interesting.

Don’t compromise yourself, to fit into someone else’s mold.

They may not like how you are, but please believe that there are plenty of people that admire you for who you are.

Ugly Duckling [A slightly off beat poem about haters]

When I was in high school they used to say…

Ain’t you heard of a perm?!

Why you wear your hair that way?

Mouth full of metal.

You might be pretty…one day.

Too damn skinny.

Need a few mango seasons.

Yeah, they still holla,

But only for one reason.

Brainiac, know it all,

Won’t you quit acting white?

You think you all that

Cuz your skin is light.

Had me all self-conscious,

Cuz my eyebrows were too thick.

All night in the mirror with a razor

Like, “That should do the trick”

No money for Jordons,

Had to wear bo bos.

Begging my daddy for clothes,

Sick of hearing "Hell NO!"

Now its like…

Long hair, don’t care,

Wanna know if its weave.

I laugh, “Its all me!”

They like, “Can I have some please?”

Skinny like a model,

Now they love my weight.

& they love to see me smile

Cuz my teeth are straight.

Yeah, I’m a smartie,

Stay with my nose in a book.

Yeah, I’m fine,

But I don’t depend on my looks!

"Ooh, who does your eyebrows?

They’re so full and exotic."

Funny what they used to tease me for,

All of a sudden, is hypnotic.

Ya’ll spend ya’ll rent money on shoes,

But haven’t you heard the news?

I keep my money in the bank,

'Cuz, Its a recession boo.

Moral of the story…

You can like it or love it.

If not, you can suck it.

'Cuz if you don’t like it,

I know some one who will…ME!

LMAO at haters…'cuz they suck!

Not literal, but real none-the-less.

Do you. & Let them do them.

Think for yourself.

That’s why you have a brain.

Don’t let ‘em blow your head up with bubble gum dreams.

Yeah, it tastes good for now, but when you teeth turn black,

Who you gonna blame?

You, alone, will have to accept the consequences,

Or the rewards,

Of your actions.

Staight up.

Something like an intro

Hopefully my experiences of troubles and triumph can encourage you, or make you laugh, cry or think. Or maybe you’ll just find something here interesting. Maybe you'll learn something new. Maybe you can teach me something.

I’m gonna be open and honest with you. So check in often, leave comments, ask questions, tell your stories, tell your friends & hopefully we can support each other.

See you soon.